Relationships and honoring people should be intentional as we set our own desires and pride aside, and putting others needs before our own.
Honor, noun, high respect; esteem.;a privilege. To Honor, verb, regard with great respect; fulfill (an obligation) or keep (an agreement).
“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” Romans12:10 (ESV)
I mentioned in my last post “Making Friendship a Competition”, one of my favorite passages has become Romans 12:9-13… And a challenge I have taken in my personal life is to honor others. So the question I pose is, what is honor and how do you honor others? And as promised, here my post about Honor and honoring. At the basic level, what does honor mean?
When looking at the definitions, there are many ways to show honor and to “outdo one another in showing honor” (Romans 12:10). The key word that runs through the definitions is Respect. Therefore, in thinking through this subject,what is at the root of respect? Admiration, showing preference to, holding in high esteem, giving priority… just to name a few. High Esteem or Respect: Admiring someone, but more than admiration. Prioritizing our lives and having people be a top priority in our lives. By giving people that important place in daily life, it gives them a sense that they are important, putting them in a place of honor. Giving a sense that they matter or are of some importance. To Regard with Great Respect: Putting honor into action. Showing someone you honor them, or showing others.
So, how is this lived out? How do I show honor?
10 Ways to Show Honor to someone: This not an exhaustive list by any means. I don’t think there is a method or formula to showing honor to someone. Each individual is different and each relationship is unique. So, when thinking through the people in your life, how you show honor has to be individualized to each person, their relationship, and their situation. Here are just a few things I am trying to be intentional about in the relationships in my life and making people a priority.
1. Encouraging: Hebrews 3:13 says, “Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called today….” Honoring someone means encouraging them to be their best, to not give up, and to seek after what they excel in doing. Encouragement can manifest itself in many ways; Words, actions, support….
2. Speaking well of a person: James 4:11, “Do not speak evil against one another,…” If I call someone a friend. If I say I love another person, why would I put them down to their face or to other people. I show love, I show honor by building them up to others. Everyone has weaknesses or places they struggle, but what is advantageous in pointing those out to the world? It is my job, as a friend, to point out your good qualities and highlight those to the world.
3. Supporting: Philippians 2:1-7 “So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant,being born in the likeness of men.” Everyone strives to do something, to be something, and to be good at something. In honoring another person, I must support them in whatever they try. I may not agree with whatever it is, or the way they go about achieving their goals, but if they are making decisions and working towards their goal, I will support them in it. I will help them when I can. I will pray for them. I will give of myself and my resources when and if I can.
4. Spending time: 1 John 1:7 “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another,…” If you call someone a friend, typically you want to spend time with them. That can manifest itself in many ways. To spend time with someone could mean different things to different people. I enjoy just doing life with people. We could be sitting and talking, running errands, watching a movie, or engaging each other in new interests or hobbies. For long distance friends, phone conversations, text messages, hand written notes, email are all ways that can keep up and keep us involved in the lives of those people.
5. Being honest: Colossians 3:9-10 “Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.” Honesty fosters trust and trust is of utmost importance in any successful relationship. Once trust is broken, the relationship is broken. Be open and honest in all things. Successful relationships are upheld in integrity.
6. Holding accountable: Proverbs 27:17 “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” If those you are honoring hold values, have a relationship with Jesus Christ, and claim to have beliefs or standards, and then friends (those we call our people that we love) hold each other to those standards and beliefs. Of course, this accountability does not need to be a sense of judging, but must come from the motivation of love and realizing that we are all broken and have our own junk to deal with.
7. Giving them preference: Hebrews 10:25-25 “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another,…” This is much like making another a priority, but a little more. It is inviting them to do life with you. Intentionally putting down the phone and computer, turning off the tv, and learn about each other and the lives each one lives. Also, putting others before yourself. Setting myself aside to attend to the needs of the ones we love.
8. Laughing with one another: Proverbs 17:22 “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” We shouldn’t take ourselves too seriously. As they say, laughter is the best medicine. Taking time to enjoy the people we love.
9. Making memories: Luke 2:19 “But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart.” Being part of each other lives is important because through that you are making memories.
10. Prayer: James 5:13-16 Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. Making a commitment to pray for others. I believe in praying specifically and intentionally for people in the situations they are in, whether good or bad.